sometimes i'm so self-centered..

sometimes i stupidly thought of getting some sort of incurable disease and just die, silently, without anybody but my family knowing. i’d like to see who the real people are. those who’ll miss me, those who’ll forgive me, those who’ll mourn for me and long for me. those who will regret not getting to make time for me. those who’ll regret ever hurting me. i dont know who cares enough anymore, honestly. but hey, is there such thing as REAL PEOPLE. probably they don't even exist in my life.

sometimes i want to fucking evaporate and get away from the world. im honestly going through so much bullshit that’s why it seems like im so mad at the world. it’s not even funny. oh life is unspeakably complicated.